Malaysian Wife, Australian Life

..at least!!!  This is one of the things that's on my list. Oh and note-to-self: Ayisha's Princess & Dora books do not count, ok. Many years ago, when I was actively trying to excel in one of those Multi Level Marketing thingy (hint: A****y), I heard this quote for the first time:   “Five years from today, you will be the same person that you are today, except for the books you read and the people you meet.”   ..and it has stuck with me. Since then, I have always had it in my to-do list. It started out rather ambitiously with 2 books per week (whoaah!)  especially during those pre-marriage & pre-babies years. But I've never been able to tick them off the list, ever. Last year it was down to 2 books a month. Didn't happen either. *hampeh* So let's hope this year is the year! Actually, I have my moments with books. Sometimes I can go months without remembering the last book I read and other times I'd find myself reading 3-4 bo...

The other day, I took the train to the city for an appointment. Just me. Probably the first time, by myself, since Ayisha was born.  Such a weird feeling. I wasn't dreading it although I had to get up very early, even before Squeaky got up, to catch the train. I was pretty excited actually. Dressing up (means not just a t-shirt), put a little bit of make-up on (means moisturise & bit of neutral lip colour). It reminded me of my days getting ready to work and waiting for the train like all other office attire wearing people around me. At that point, I couldn't believe that I actually kinda missed it. Going into the city was great too. Reminded me of how I loved working in the city. I missed my office which used to have a magnificent view of Darling Harbour. I missed walking through the shops and malls to & from the train station. I missed the lunches & dinners around the city with my colleagues and friends working in the city. I started thinking about the po...

We're back in Sydney! We've been back about a week now but I've been so tired and blergh. Ayisha's been sick with chest infection, I was a bit sick too and Michael's gone straight back to work. It's also that little bit harder being big & round, going to the toilet all the time & aching everywhere plus the whole moving & packing & unpacking & aaaaaaaaaaaah! I feel like vomiting just writing about it. Ayisha's been a bit miserable too. I'm not sure if it's her antibiotics, the weather or just growing up, she's a totally different person when we first got here. She was cranky & extra demanding - this I think maybe because she was not getting enough sleep & just sick of being sick. Then when she's with her cousins she's just so extra feisty! She's pulling Abbey's hair - something I've never seen her do when playing with her other cousins or friends and pushing Jack, made him cry and later admitted t...

We're now back in Bali. As always, it all felt too quick. We arrived late Sunday night. Delayed flight with Air Asia separating mother & child when we did our web check-in. What's that all about? It was ok that Michael & I got separated but to separate Ayisha too? We emailed our complaint only to be served with 'you should buy your seats' automated response. When we requested to be seated together at baggage drop off, the staff said she couldn't help. On the plane, we were hoping good people would kindly swap seats with us - same ones, only different rows. But they both wanted to be directly behind their other family members and refused to swap just across the aisle. The thing is, in the middle of the flight, one of them moved to the front next to her family who happens to have an empty seat next to them and another lady moved to who knows where. One came back every now and then (maybe to check if we took it!) then at the last minute, came back way after se...

At 11.16am yesterday morning, I felt my 1st ever major earthquake. It was numbing, panicking and extremely terrifying. We've felt tremors quite a number of times before while living here, being located where we are. But they're normally quakes from far away like Java or Sumatra that we only probably felt it like for a second. Shocked me at first, but when Michael assured me of how common it is, I started to sort of gotten used to it. There's like 60 quakes reported in Indonesia from July to Oct this year alone! But this time, I knew it was different. Ayisha & I were downstairs, playing with a pouch of coins and when it happened, everything started to shake and the coins were scattered around. The house was shaking noisily from the glass sliding doors & windows surrounding us. Things on the table were moving around too and it kept going on and on. We looked at each other, with me just shocked and not knowing what to think and what to do. When the shaking didn't...

It happened few days ago at Lotte Mart, a wholesale supermarket where i normally go for my groceries. I was planning to shop whilst Ayisha was at playgroup that morning but I ended up staying with her at school the whole time. I still haven't managed to leave her at school without her (or me) crying. She's still very clingy. We've also been on & off school cos of our travels and then the school holidays. So we keep having to start over everytime. It's getting harder now cos there's lots of new kids coming in with the new term, which means more crying lil children in her class and lesser attention from the teachers. So up till now, she's still not 100% happy when Im not around. Anyways, after school we always go straight home cos Ayisha would be super tired and ready for nap time. But that day I thought i could probably squeeze in Lotte Mart quickly because it's so close to her school and our fridge was all empty. I thought I could do quick stop, get...

I've been doing this mummy thing for about 21 months now and honestly, most of the time i still dunno what I'm doing. I remember hearing a lot of mothers say they know exactly what their child's cries mean as early as 1 month old. I still don't even know what Ayisha wants when she cried 5 hours ago. I thought being with Ayisha 24/7 would make me an expert on motherhood somehow but seriously, if i have another baby, i still wouldn't know the best way to get my child to sleep or eat or even putting on nappies perfectly - I still think her bum doesn't look right & comfortable when i put her nappies on but perfectly round & fine when Michael does it. My main concern at the moment is her teeth. This is extremely difficult for me to say, so with great embarrassment & fear i am confessing that her top four teeth are showing signs of browning, decaying & rotting. :( I feel like the worst mum ever. The very thought of her not having her front teeth b...

I finally did it. I left Ayisha at school. The 1st time she was fine, I was not. The 2nd time we were both fine so I went to do the groceries and told her she'd see me after snack time (an hour later). I did have every intention to come back before snack time but i had a slow cashier (ok, i went looking for treats for me!) and got back 1/2 hour after snack time so she was asleep when i got there. The teacher said after snack time she started crying and took her bag and went to the door. She cried the whole 1/2 hour to sleep. How bad did that make me feel? Clinging to her for the rest of the day and let her watch wiggles all afternoon BAD. Moral of the story - keep your promises! The 3rd time, I tried leaving her a bit earlier. Normally I'd stay for the group singing where all the kids from 2-5 years of age would sing together for about 15 mins before they go to their own age group classrooms. She'd continue holding my hands till we get to class and we would both slowly le...

It's been SO long i don't even know where to start. We left Oz when Ayisha's about ..well hafta check my diary but very little lah...Now she's 16 weeks old. Im sooo bad! So much stuff has been happening, with her of course. There's just so much to tell, im gonna try to start from the beginning without this entry turning into a possible chapter of a storybook. Leaving Oz was a mixture of emotions for me. Sad to leave people behind and packing up most of our stuff away especially Ayisha's but also happy to be seeing fam & friends back home again. A bit guilty for taking Ayisha away from her loved ones but excited to share her with the rest of her fam & friends. I was also scared, worried & paranoid about her first plane ride and how she'd adjust to the heat and all, among other things. KL! Here we come!! But Ayisha's been making almost everything easy for us right from the start. She was good on the plane and handling the heat and weath...

I just found out that my aunty ( cousin's beloved ma) passed away this morning - lung cancer. We only jz found that out about 2 weeks ago and i was still adjusting to that news..and now, she's gone... It's just so very hard & frustrating to be so far away when all u wanna do is be close to family & comfort each other. I just really don't know what to do.... Dearest family, friends & readers, I humbly ask if you would kindly join me in offering prayers & sedekahkan Fatihah to her. Deeply appreciated. I can't believe she's gone :(

Remember how I was taking driving lessons to get a NSW licence? How i've been doing it for a while cos my instructor said i wasnt ready yet and all? Well she finally sent me to the test after i passed her mock test. We went to RTA (JPJ) last Saturday and ........ I FAILED!! :(((( SOOO saaaaaaaaaad!! WHY?? Ni yg geram ni!!! The not-so-friendly looking test lady said she had to fail me because i did not do enough HEAD CHECKS (u know, toleh kiri toleh kanan to check for traffic?).....Hang on a minute!! I DID do my head checks. That's one of the things that my instructor has been emphasizing the most! Don't forget head checks & mirrors cos they're so strict on that. And i did not forget! I even leaned my body forward in case she did not see my head moving left and right - at intersections, while changing lanes, looking for pedestrians..oh yesss, i did all that..BUT no no no...she said, I did not do enough head checks..AT TRAFFIC LIGHTS!!! WHAT THE????????????????? She...

I have never felt as homesick as i did on Sunday that got really bad that Sunday nite and carried on till Monday. I was SO homesick i even told Michael in between my sobs that I wanna go home, NOW!!! It was terrible..I dunno what it was. Maybe it's all the Mother's Day gathering that we had earlier that day. Maybe it's the birthday card that i just received from my parents. Maybe it's the same question ive been getting from everyone that i met that day whether or not ive got my visa. Maybe it's also when they asked me what did i do all day or all week and me saying NOTHING and sounded like a loser. I dunno. But i felt really sad and i really really really did wanna go home. So bad! I want my car. I want to be able to go anywhere and everywhere. I wanna hang out with my friends. I wanna be there for my family gatherings. I just didnt wanna be here anymore! I know that i should get out more and do stuff and make new friends. But im SO lazy. I dread having to get up ...